Mum says that I should take this as the biggest acting assignment of my life... I told her this is one experience that the pay check is definitely not worth it.

Being accused as being useless, arrogant, ignorant & someone who uses people (& by her of all people!), I'm left reeling in this roll of vicious words that I want to throw back at her... But I won't. Instead, I swallow that anger & try to take something out of all those cutting words. & I just find myself overwhelmed in sadness & disbelief that this is the very woman who brought me up & taught me a great deal about life. To describe this experience as being 'hurtful' doesn't even begin to express how much turmoil it is truly causing me.

I've heard you all tell me: Just ignore her Kim, it's fine. It doesn't mean anything. But you know what? It does. & it does because I still love her & respect her for all that she is & has become after all these years.

& as far as being an 'acting experience'? I don't remember a time that I have ever used these emotions in any sort of moments... They were far too terrifying & raw for me to even experience it a first time through, let alone to call on it over & over again. It's madness. I've married myself to an insane art, & as much as I love, live & breathe it. It scares me.

If there's one thing this on-going ordeal has thought me & inspired me to do, it is to promise myself that I would never let myself hurt anyone else in that same degrading, damaging fashion.

I will grow from this. I have to...
... I just wish people in the industry would see me as more than just 'the young one' who doesn't know anything. But that's another battle & another story for another day.

Xxx Kim