If I had to use one word to comment about today... it'd be:
Honestly, it was pretty darn messed up and awful waste of my time.
I felt awful and really restless. I mean, yes, being with the j1 dancers and helping them made my day but something was terribly off and I felt out of sorts. To be honest, I still do. I really want this feeling to corrode away, or just vanish! I don't know, I feel completely fucked over. I'm sorry for the crude language. Not that it's the first time, but I actually feel like apologising for it today. My swearing I mean. Which brings me to my next point... I'm NOTHING like her. and I really do not wish to be compared to her. It's ridiculous and just unnecessary. Honestly, it makes me upset and I end up thinking about shit I thought didn't matter anymore. And it still doesn't, but it just sucks. I really hope this is not another round of my crap again.. It can't be. I cannot afford this. It's too draining, too painful.
I need to snap out of it.
Now.
I think I need a hug..
Sigh.
xxxkim