We are forced to make so many decisions throughout our lives.

And undoubtedly, some extremely hard ones.

I'm torn between my heart and my head.
But the fact that I know what I want from him, it makes everything seem easier, yet so difficult. I can deal with people hurting me, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to cause anymore problems then I already have. It's not fair for them.

I just need to bury myself in the mountains of things I need to do now. It the only way I can forget, even if it's for the moment. It will provide me that release. I just hope that everything will get better after all of this.

He deserves the peace, not the constant problems.
He deserves comfort, it's a lot more complicated than it seems.
He deserves a lot more happiness, and a lot less complication & pain that I've given him.

I hope I can do this.
I think I can,
...I have to.
For him.