It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter
-"In the End", Linkin Park


The song is playing in the radio, slightly angsty and strangely melodious, it suits my current emotional state at this moment. I really am quite mixed up inside today. And I'm trying to pinpoint the source but to no avail... I'm still left here, at 12.08AM, confused as ever.

I can't say I like feeling like this... so out of control. There's a fair bit going on, feel like I'm really burning out recently but the more I feel it, the more I feel the urge to fight against it. It comes in waves, hitting me stronger with each blow.. I just sincerely hope I can outlive this storm.

I got my hair done today, it's now one solid colour, and I personally think I look like a bloody china-doll. And I'm so close to scraping of my skin to get rid of these disgusting zits. It's a ridiculous number. It's so not natural. Growl. It's annoying. Damned stress.

Yesterday, I went back into school to choreograph for the IPs performing for 25th Anniversary, and it went really well. I just woke up today with an extremely sore back from me just letting loose while waiting for nic to finish her exams. It was a beautiful feeling though. It might have been 12pm with people walking by and staring but I just lost myself in the music. And for that period, it didn't matter that I wasn't landing my jumps or rolling on the floor, it was the ultimate release. After which, Gabriel and I went to get some dinner. He made up some crazy story about a magical bamboo pole and a squirrel... Though I have to admit, he lost me after a couple of minutes. What a douche bag. Love you babe.

I drank a bowl of soup that was spoilt, and I didn't even realise, a totally fml moment if you ask me. It really was quite comical. First week back in school was not as painful as I anticipated. My thought process is even more scattered tonight. Oh dear. I really should stop blogging my rubbish. Gibberish is SO much better.

Today was just one big blur, and I've been rendered numb, and well,

lost.

On another note,
Mid-years are next week.

In the end,
Does is even matter?

I love YOU, my sleeping fool.

xxxxxx kimmy